般若的水乡

最近连续听说几个高中同学要回成都工作，包括最好的朋友，为他们开心之外也小感慨了一下。

 

这个寒假我也要回家20天，行程如上，两年半之后的20天，说起来美国朋友都不相信。成都的大家，还有一个月，差不多准备准备带我去吃各种好吃的吧！很期待火锅呀，烧烤呀，米线呀，水饺呀，蹄花呀，雪旺呀，点点点。:) 哦，另外还有甜点，美国的甜点实在是太难吃了。。。其实说来就连国内的KFC和McDonald都很怀念。:) 准备回家的同志们也喊一嗓子吧，大家各自在外面都不容易，回家好歹见一面。先这样。

周末去了Starved Rock State Park hiking. 照片传到相册里了，大家自己看。

我们一起拍照的时候，他们一起不分场合地开我玩笑的时候，忽然有种似曾相识的感觉，跟高中的时候。忽然间觉得很安心。

曾经以为世界变了弄不明白怎么回事，曾经担心自己变了不知道要往哪里去。其实也许都没有。

其实也许只要做自己，找到和自己步调一致的世界就可以了。

不用着急。

一则通知：换本本有一阵了，嫌烦没有装msn messenger。所以目前（大概从一个月前开始迄今以及往后相当长一段时间）发msg是联系不上我滴，大家有事直接email或者打电话吧。

 

本来只是来说这个的，但是想到要贯彻不在space上讨论私事而要写点对大家有价值的话题的原则，决定说点别的。

 

有个朋友失恋了，在FB上写了很多自暴自弃的话，看着挺心揪。 

我们难过的时候，容易把自己关起来，反复咀嚼难过的滋味，然后自我打击，或者自我麻痹。结果总会更难过。

 

决定生活基调的，无非是每天每天经历的一个个的人和一件件的事。

遇到一个烂人，心情差一点，遇到一件开心的事，心情转好一些，在一定范围内大致是个线性关系，这样。

那些非线性的关系，那些沉重得挥不去的人和事，多半是我们自己无谓的illutionary obsession。

真正扫除阴霾的，是那些即将发生的温暖和开心的事。而这些事需要我们不停地去寻找和创造。

如果选择停止去经历，这些事就永远都不会发生了。

 

如果哀伤自己不被人需要，就去认识新的朋友，善待需要自己的人，播下新的种子；

如果有人让你哭泣，就去把你的笑容带给其他人，有余下的话，甚至是让你哭泣的人。

这样才会有未来好多好多开心的事，才能把不开心的回忆挤掉。

论文被接收了，十一月就会发表，跟大家分享一下这个好消息。

 

距离提交论文好几个月，除了修改论文的那段时间，因为忙于上课和实习，很少想起这件事。偶尔想起，不免小小地忐忑不安。老板也等得很担心，觉得修改稿是不是仔细得过了头，引出新的争议话题，又要重新改。可是拿到编辑的信和审稿人意见，却是对我们修改稿和回复意见的认真程度大加赞赏。很长一段时间的压力，总算卸了下来。

 

过去一年，迷惘多过开朗，一边内疚着没能给大家写些勇敢的文字一边越是自顾不暇。Client缺席，看重的朋友从身边离开，都使我非常沮丧。不时会很怀疑这样认真过头的自己，对人对事都一百二十分的执著，是不是太傻，是不是太不划算，是不是从根本上就错了。现在想来，其实这个世界上阴晴圆缺很正常，没什么必要抱住不放，该走的路还是要走，该播的种子还是要播，该积累的东西还是要认认真真地积累。要放开的是得失，而不是努力。不管最终收获的是不是我们预想的那种结果，丝毫不差地，it all pays off, eventually.

 

写下这个冗长而中心思想突出的标题，是希望鼓励一下大家。我知道你们一定都在什么地方为着什么事情努力着，如果一时还看不到结果，请不要泄气，不要怀疑。等待总是很长，人生有起有伏，得失一时半会还不好说，不用急功近利。

 

今天正好是来美国两年的日子，谨以此文纪念一下。

 

走进黑黑的屋子里，看着大家围着点上蜡烛的蛋糕站成一圈，明白过来之前种种奇怪迹象是怎么一回事，眼泪都快涌出来了。特别开心。特别感动。后悔都没看清楚大家脸上的表情，都忘了要把蛋糕拍下来纪念一下。平时还挺能说的，一下子不知道该说什么，只有说着谢谢谢谢，抱抱“贼开心一家”的妈妈、爸爸和宝宝。来美国两年，遇到不少好朋友，挤进“贼开心一家”做了妹妹，和大家一起热热闹闹地提前踩进了24岁。

 

今天是Ran生日，按照ACT的惯例，部门有同事过生日就会有food day，每个人都带一些yummy的甜点来。所以做了椰香红豆糕带去，同事觉得很赞来要recipe，既然都花时间写了就干脆贴上来跟大家分享一下：

 

先贴照片：

 

　

 

配料(Ingredients)：sushi rice, 1/3 kg (to make 10-12 rice cakes); coconut milk, 1 can (400ml); shredded coconut, regular type sold at grogery stores, one package; Kyo-Nichi red bean paste, one package; cane sugar or honey, as needed (I don't like sweets to be to sweet so didn't use any).

 

步骤(Procedures)：

1. We start off cooking steamed rice. Add half the amount of water as you would normally do. Cook with the lid off. When the water is mostly gone and the rice starts to become sticky, turn the flame down a little bit.

2. Pour coconut milk into the rice. Stir so that they blend together. I used the whole can since I like a strong milky taste and coconut flavor. You may put in less based on your need.

3. Add in about 1/3 to 2/5 package of red bean paste (about 150g). Stir to make it blend. The red bean paste serves two purposes: it gives the rice a yummy red-ish color, and it sweentens the rice. I find it sweet enough with the red bean paste, but you may add sugar now to make it sweeter.

4. Adjust the flame to keep the cocomilk and rice slightly boiling. Stir it once in a while to keep it from sticking to the bottom. Keep cooking until the rice is done (moist but without any liquid in the pot).

5. When it is done, the rice should take on a color similar to this blog background. Pour it out to a non-metal container and wait until it cools off.

6. Now we can start making the rice cakes. From now on it is super easy. The rice cakes are about as large as half a fist. So use a spoon to take that much rice from the container, place it on a plate or a cutting board, put in some red bean paste fillings and wrap the fillings up like making a Bao/Baozi.

7. Use your spoon or a little spade to shape the rice cake so that it looks like the one shown above. Put shredded coconut on the top of the cake.

8. Done! Now you can serve them in whatever pretty plates that you have to whomever you'd like to share this dissert with. :)

 

 

It was not until very recently did I realize how damn isolated I am. Coming back from a conference in San Francisco during the Memorial Day weekend, I took a bus from Chicago to Champaign on late Monday evening. It suddenly struck me that there would be no busing running on holidays, which meant, when I arrived at the bus station at midnight, I needed to either ask someone for a ride or took a 40-minute walk home with super heavy luggage.

 

Asking someone for a ride? Who would be willing to come out pick you up at 12:30am while they could sit comfortably at home in pajama? The first call was made to a very good friend. “I would be happy to pick you up,” he said, “but I need to work tomorrow morning. How about you check with other people first, and if no one else is available I’ll come.” Reasonable, I thought, if NO ONE else is available I’d rather walk home. I called someone else. Same answer. “I always go to bed at 12:00am, sharp.” He claimed. “No problem. Thanks anyway man!” I put down the cell phone. I could call Sean, and I am pretty sure he’d come pick me up. But, come on girl, as much as Sean is like a brother to you, can’t you really find anyone else that you need to bother a married guy so late at night? Come on. Let’s browse through the contact list again.

 

Have you done anything for them so that you would feel completely comfortable asking them to give you a ride at 12:30am? I stared at the names, asking myself this question. After going through the phone book back and forth twice, I finally quitted. It seems so sad that after living in Champaign for almost two years, I couldn’t possibly bring myself up to call anyone for a ride without feeling guilt. You are an island, girl, you have been an island.

 

Eventually I called Sean, and he agreed without any hesitance. But as he drove away, I was left in deep wonder who am I going to call next time similar things happen. Not Sean again. I have been a troublemaker for him enough. But have you got other buddies? Sort of… but not close enough.

 

Well… anyways. Maybe next time when I make sushi, Thai shrimp rolls, or chocolate-coated strawberries, I should call someone up.

Update一下近况，周三和Margaret去看了中国国家杂技团的演出，巧遇不少同事，大家都看得大呼小叫，鼓掌鼓到不行，我也看得巨感动，眼泪都要掉下来了。

 

起居饮食都好，client进展顺利，心情愉悦。

 

最近PhD Comics画了Tajel结婚的series，看着还挺开心的，转过来问候和祝福大家。:)